April 11, 2020
Milestones, like birthdays, are important and normally joyous customs commemorating the passage of time with the people you love. But what if the very act of time passing is a hard concept for you? Every day that passes, every milestone celebrated increases the gap between your new, current reality and the life you used to have. Each birthday representing another step further away from the familiar existence you left behind. That former existence that now seems frozen in time by loss, voids, and a giant absence. What then?
The country, this world has fallen to its knees recently, leaving our previous lives in its wake. The simple act of shaking someone’s hand or spending time with other family members without care are distant memories. The images of our previous lives, just weeks ago, seemingly mock us from their short vantage points. Lives, families, entire countries have been uprooted, vigorously shaken then thrown back down again, shattering us into tiny pieces. Pieces to be picked back up and optimistically molded together again into something we can hopefully recognize.
We’re all feeling loss. We’re all trying our best at this thing called life, but we all eventually lose. Yet, we all still hold our heads up high and choose to go on. We realize that the moments in between one’s eventual demise are the ones that count. The joy, the sorrow, the triumphs, the love. You can grieve, you can be afraid, terrified in fact, but you can also choose to live because life waits for no one.
In the past two weeks Megan and her boys have celebrated what would have been Jon’s 37th birthday on March 29th and sweet Landon’s 8th birthday on April 6th. Easily, this family could have chosen darkness. They could have buckled, crumbled, melted into the heavy fear and sadness. But this beautifully courageous family chose joy, they chose life. With Jon’s ashes nearby, Megan, Landon, Maddox and Wyatt sang Daddy happy birthday. Their sweet little boy voices lifting us up in hope and love. Each one of those boys soaked up the love in return as they inhaled and excitedly blew out Jon’s candles, their extinguishing gust nudging all of us further into this new reality without Jon. It was a hard day, but also a healing one. The love, strength and devotion on display for this family was an overpowering feeling that couldn’t be quelled, even at socially-acceptable distance.
Landon rang in his birthday by waking up to a completely decked out kitchen, all compliments of Megan. Streamers, balloons, signs, and a few gifts were waiting for him. In addition #WatsonNation was out in full force in celebration of Landon. Gifts, cakes, cupcakes, phone calls, and FaceTimes were a constant that day. A simple text I sent out the day before Landon’s birthday resulted in a “miles long” birthday parade in honor of our sweet 8 year old. Not a single person declined the invitation, in fact people asked to join in on the parade, some of whom had never met Landon but wanted to show their support. Landon ended his day by telling Megan “This is the best birthday, I don’t want this day to end!”
Yes, this is a pivotal and historically somber, scary time in our nation’s history. Yes, things seem dark and desperate. The streets, parks, world landmarks and shopping aisles are bare. I don’t doubt that you ask yourself multiple times during the day; “Are we going to be ok?” We all need a little hope. We all feel lost. If you’re weak and feel broken, remember to smile, remember to celebrate your own little milestones in this new broken world. The simple act of smiling and celebrating little victories allows you to find peace, renewed spirits and the energy to continue on. Remember there is love and hope to be found in the strength and support of your loved ones, even from a distance. Despair and love can, and do, coexist.
I hope you can find strength and solace in the fact that if this broken, shattered family can remember to dance and find each other in the dark; if this crippled tribe has the strength hold their heads up high and carry on the in the midst of the very darkest of moments, then, yes, you absolutely can too.
And you will.
Raise that chin up high my friend, continue that fight; the fight for normalcy, the fight health, the fight for all of the happy milestones from our pasts and rise yourself up for all of the amazing milestones yet to come.
